1 simple insight from 13 Years of Marriage. Geeeezzzzzz......

A Lesson and a Moment.

Kia Ora all,
This week me and my wife celebrated our 13th year wedding anniversary. Together for 15 and now married for 13 years - so literally a third of my entire life. Anyways, as we change gears into a different phase of our life with our 2 daughters now 5 and 7 starting to come into their own I wanted to just acknowledge a little story and insight from the other night.

Me & The Boss / 2009 / West Coast NZ

I was in the kitchen clearing the dishwasher out minding my own damn business and wifey came up behind me and out of the blue and pushed her foot behind the back of my left knee which made me almost crumble down as I was standing up straight. I turned around to see her mischievously laughing and then she just continued on with her evening and walked past as if nothing had happened (yup - I married a special unit). But as I continued to empty the dishwasher being the champion that I am she then walked past, grabbed a cup out of the cupboard and went to the icemaker and started getting some ice out of it while facing away from me. Now was my time for revenge!

So while she was head down looking away from me at the ice machine I snuck up behind her took my foot and went to do the same thing to try and push her right behind the back of her left knee so she could HOPEFULLY collapse down and then hopefully eat shit on the floor, and even better be covered in ice which I thought would be hilariously funny and a good way to even the score.

I can't even make this up, so while she was faced the other way in the kitchen, without her even looking at me, hearing me or seeing me while she was getting her ice, as I lifted my right foot to try and push the back of her left knee from behind so she could eat shit, she simultaneously bent her left knee forward RIGHT as my foot tried to get her off balance and I totally missed. Wifey went full Neo in the Matrix dodging bullets blind. Fully telepathic to the centimeter dodging my counter attack midway through her ice mission.

We both started absolutely cracking up and then she said “You're so Predictable'“ and then just walked off again and went on with the rest of her day leaving me to wallow in my failure. haha. A second earlier I would have got her - A second later and I would have got her. DAMMITT!!!!

It was such a small simple moment but it was pretty poignant to what long-term marriage can actually be like. It's not necessarily the glitz and glam or big fancy dinners and travel all over the world like the Instagram photoshopped perfect couples which don’t exist. It’s not the happily ever love highway without without a single bump in the road. It’s waaaaaaaayyyyyy simpler than that.

What I’ve realised to be true in my marriage - is it’s not always the BIG things - it’s mostly the small things that can make it special. Even the tiny things which on paper seem like nothing. The stupid little inside jokes. The eye engagement where you can have a full conversation in public and get on the same page without even saying a word. The time together over time where you know they KNOW you.

So as we sat on the couch a little later I opened up a nice bottle of Red from 2014 that I had saved for a special occasion like an anniversary. We sat there chatting away in our saggy trackpants while we heard the excited echos of our two young daughters playing and laughing and giggling to their hearts content in the room next door. And it was perfect. Just a special lil Mexi/Maori family enjoying an evening and a husband and wife both enjoying a moment together also. It felt like a WIN!!!! Because it was. Not sure why this all struck a cord with me - but it did.

I recently watched an interview with someone a lot more experienced and successful than myself and he said that the SINGLE biggest decision that you can make in your business life is choosing the one person that you want to be with together for your personal life. And the more I've thought about it the more I realised this to be true. A solid partnership build on a foundation of trust and support is priceless. As I look to try build my next lil venture here in the states I know that my base and partner has given me a solid foundation to go after my dreams and missions too. For as much as I’ve loved the business hustle and the game - TBH - Success looks a lot different now than when I was 20. It’s wider, It’s simpler and it’s a LOT more than just stacking some 0’s.

Anyways, this morning I thought again about that moment where Wifey Neo telegraphed my attack and telepathically knew exactly what I was gonna do and dodged my ninja move without even seeing me, I’ve realised that after 15 years of her witnessing me send it - as much as I don’t want to admit it - it’s fair to say she knows me down to the micron and millisecond. And as annoying as shit as it can be sometimes - it’s actually quite awesome when you really think about it. To FULLY let someone in like that where they’ve seen EVERY side to you through all the ups and downs and more. And that’s a journey and relationship which pays dividends in the best way possible - and is for sure worth it.

Anyways, Happy Anniversary Homie. 13 Down - 87 to go! Love you. xoxo.

• Robett