Morena,
2 people I knew personally have died in the last 4 days.
Outside of the sadness and utter pain for all the whānau and friends involved I’ve been trying to process many questions on a bunch of levels but I keep getting lost, so I stopped tonight to write down a few questions to think through and help me try navigate my emotions a lil better. You may also find these pretty challenging to ask yourself too.
1. If I died tonight how many ‘positive breadcrumbs’ will I have left for others on their own journeys?
2. What % of my life did I keep it 100%? And what % would be regret or shame for not being brave enough to be truly myself?
3. Are you TRULY mindful of who you let into your ‘circle’? Do you have ‘Supporters’, ‘Haters’ or ‘Enablers’ mostly around you? What’s your % of these 3 types?
4. Do you have 3 people in your life that would pass ‘The GC Test’? Where you could call them at 2am on a weeknight and GENUINELY NOT feel bad asking to sleep on their couch because shit has hit the fan. THESE are the humans you want close.
5. When people ‘FEEL’ your energy - what energy radiates? And what ‘feeling’ do you leave them when you are but a memory and not physically their anymore?
6. If you woke up tomorrow with ZERO influence, money, title or position - how many in your ‘network’ would disappear because they thought you were no longer ‘of value‘ to them? And how many would TRULY have your back as real friends for ‘Who you are’ and not ‘What you do’?
7. Do those that you TRULY care about KNOW that you TRULY care about them?
I’m now 36 and am starting to see more deaths, suicides, cancer, life ending accidents, serious illnesses, divorces and more REAL WORLD SHIT start to seep into my world. It’s made me realise sooner than most of my own mortality, my own energy, my own time and the small small part that we all play in this crazy big and at sometimes painfully hurtful world.
I’ll keep digesting these feelings over the next wee while, but as the glaze of innocent youth has now clearly passed me and the harsh and painful realities of our complicated existences continues to focus in, as I age through the next 2/3’s of my hopefully long life I am reminded that…….
- MOST SHIT you waste your energy on really doesn’t matter
- A few KEY things really do
The key is knowing what’s what and to choose and act accordingly. A key that I hope to navigate better in the future for me, my whānau, my friends and others that intersect through my world.
So maybe stop for a few minutes tonight. REALLY STOP and ask yourself a few of these hard questions. This will probably be uncomfortable - but it’s REAL WORLD SHIT - and once you’ve asked and answered them, the key part is when you wake up tomorrow what are you going to CHOOSE to do about it? Good luck.
Finally, much love to both whānau’s and the countless others that have lost loved ones and are forced to deal with the pain that accompanies it. Wishing you hugs and peace.
RIP Jake & Marko.
Xoxoxooxoxo.
- Robett.
r. || www.linktr.ee/ROBETT || r.
7 Questions to ask yourself before you die.
Mad respect Robett. Always enjoy your deep chats!